The Dating Game – DC Singles

Ok. So we all know how honest I am. Sometimes painfully so. So I’m going to tell you a little story. It might make you laugh. It might make you laugh AT me. Not sure.

Being newly singly, and not having much luck at the dating apps and sites, I thought I would try my hand at a matchmaking company in DC called DC Singles. They pride themselves in being able to pair people together on compatibility and all that jazz and personality tests and whatever voodoo that they do. They also charge an exorbitant fee.

But I’m a sucker for romance that you pay for, so I bought in.

At first the matches were slow. They said this was because I was still separated and so not very “desirable.” The matches I was getting were like to guys ten years older+ to me or people who didn’t fit the profile I requested. Then I would get into matches where the guys would want to text for like 3 weeks, “hey what’s going on? whatcha doing?”

Um. definitely not that. The whole point of the service is you’re supposed to like, “go on a date.”

So. Then they set me up with this supposedly great guy right before election day. And of course, he’s a Trump supporter. Like die hard. Now, if they had done any kind of profiling on me at all, they would know that this is a deal breaker. For the kind of money they were taking, I’m sorry – it is.

I write songs about Building Bridges and knocking down walls. My core values are vehemently opposed to what Trump represents. I cannot.

So. I ask for my money back after about 4 or 5 horrible matches and say I can do better on my own and I don’t trust them at all. And they say – well – we think we did a really great job on that match. And honestly – this election was about picking between the lesser of two evils. And I’m like – “Are we really having this conversation?”

I’m like, listen. I’m brown. I come from a family of immigrants. He stands against everything my family represents.

And she says, “We’re all immigrants.”

And I’m like, “You’re going to play that card now? How often do people ask YOU where you’re from? My parents immigrated to this country. I was born here but my brothers and sisters weren’t. Khizr Khan looks like he could be my UNCLE. Don’t tell me you’re a target.”

There were other things about the guy they set me up with that were messed up too that I won’t mention here – but seriously. And they are like – you scored a 20 out of 21 on compatibility!! And I’m thinking – shows how wack the stupid test is!!!

Anyway – I don’t think I will be using their services. They won’t refund me my money – even though I can’t trust them. I asked if they would downgrade me – I still wouldn’t use their services but at least I could get some of my money back and they wouldn’t do that either. They refused to meet me half way at all.

And they have a shitty profiling and matching system.

Moral of the story – don’t ever use DC Singles and tell your friends and their friends too.

Embarrassing story to say the least but to hell with it if I’m going to be quiet.

Let the laughing commence. It’s ok. I kind of deserve this one.

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